Mafia Gazette Issue 2-2002
ARGUMENT IN THE STREET LEAVES 5 DEAD Following on from several heated arguments in the Street, last night saw 5 men die as the conflict spiralled from words to actions. It appears that the main argument was between Mr Yossarian and Mr N_O_O_D_L_E_S. Deatails on exactly what the fight was about are sketchy, but one source has alledged that a relative of Mr Yossarian was the killer of Mr N_O_O_D_L_E_S' brother. The unfortunate first victim of the escalated argument was Mr Gog, a respected crew boss, who was protecting Mr Yossarian. Mr Gog had been attempting to put an end to the fighting, but unfortunately it seems that he had no success. Mr Yossarian died only minutes later, and another man, Mr D_Vittorio, claiming to be the killer of Mr Gog, was found dead an hour later near the scene. Mr N_O_O_D_L_E_S was taken to the local hospital and treated for gunshot wounds later that night, alledgedly fired by Mr TrainedKiller who was later found dead with a bullet through his head. Mr N_O_O_D_L_E_S unfortunately passed away before our reporter could get a comment from him. Mr N_O_O_D_L_E_S younger brother, Mr NOODLE, confessed to the killing and has since gone into hiding. Anyone knowing of his whereabouts, please contact the police. _______________________ By: Tallulah 'MAFIA COFFEE HOUSE FORCED TO MOVE ' The full story of why the Mafia Coffee house, more commonly known as "The Chat Room", has recently come to light. The coffee house moved just under a week ago, and the move was shrouded in mystery. It is now more popular than ever and frequented by lots of familiar and famous faces from the site. The owner, Mr tONYB, was not available to comment, but we have information that the previous coffee house which was owned by Mr DangerMouse was closed after he increased the rent that Mr tONYB was paying for the use of the building. It is also alledged that Mr DangerMouse had barred one of the regular customers over a petty argument, and refused to lift the ban, even when asked to do so by Mr tONYB. There were several alledged complaints against Mr DangerMouse's handling of the coffee shop, including him throwing people out into the street, merely because he was bored of them. He is also known to have thrown out notable people, for instance on one occasion DrMelfi was ejected from the premesis for questioning Mr DangerMouse. Fortunately Mr tONYB has managed to aquire new premesis and "The Chat Room" has reopened and is constantly busy with the gossip and fun that used to be the hallmark of the old "Chat Room". We at the paper wish Mr tONYB all success in his newest venture. _______________________ By: Tallulah '$5 MILLION HIT ON MADE MAN ' Today Maverick's crew are fighting to save their boss from an anonymous person who has put up $5 Million for the life of the country's most respected leader. The New York based crew are flying in to their home town in a bid to quash this attempt on their bosses life. Rumours that Mr CCLW is behind the hit have proved to be false and people are left wondering who would do this and why, as no reason was left with the anonymous cash. We at the paper will endeavour to keep you, our readers informed as we get the news. Ms Maverick was not available for comment at the time of going to press. _______________________ By: Tallulah '''KITTIE CAPONE OPENS NEW CAFE '''Kittie Capone has opened a line of cafes. "So, get ready for the best Damn Canolli, Ciopinno, Mastacioli, Zitti and anything else your minds can imagine!" says Capone. According to Kittie the cafe will not infringe on any other existing franchise's business, such as the popular Migdonalds. Her restaurant does not "put the ill back into family" but it does manage to put the grrr back in grandma. While the restaurant has come under some attack for not having any moose meat in its products, the reception is mainly positive--Many people are impressed with the authenticity of the fine cooked italian cuisine. _______________________ By: Nostradamus |}